 |
 |
 |
 |
|||||||||||
 |
||||||||||||||
 |
||||||||||||||
 |
||||||||||||||
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
2010 JUNE |
||
|
|
|
June 26 Speaking of gout…. The usual treatment for acute gout is colchicine, which has been used for this purpose since at least the first century A.D. The accepted regimen is to take three pills right away, and then one every hour until you get better or develop symptoms of drug toxicity—nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea are the mild ones. This is what I was taught in the sixties, and it’s still being done this way. But then the FDA commissioned a pharmaceutical company to do a study in exchange for the exclusive right to market a drug that has been generic for 200 years. The price of colchicine immediately went from 9 cents to $4.85 a pill and URL Pharma's research showed that, while only 37% of people get better on a low dose (2 pills a day) the “push to toxicity” regimen provides relief to fully 34% of sufferers. After two thousand years, they figured this out in 2009. Modern medicine is supposed to be scientific, but a lot is still based on folklore. Now where did I put those leeches....
June 21 I don’t trust doctors. I never have, no more so when I was one than I do today. I suppose it’s at least partly because I’ve been a member of the club—I’ve seen them naked. Not long ago I took my sore toe to an arthritis specialist—certified by the appropriate medical specialty and subspecialty boards—because I thought I might have gout. He took one look and smiled indulgently: “Absolutely not gout,” he said. “Gout doesn’t look like this. Never.” He favored one of two other possibilities. One of them was a syndrome that generally occurs in men under 40 and includes (at least) 17 characteristics, the only one of which I had was a sore toe. The other choice was a disease whose sine qua non, spine involvement, I don’t have. He liked this diagnosis so much he wanted me to have a $1000 MRI of my back to prove that I had a problem I didn’t know about. But whether I had reactive arthritis, ankylosing spondylitis, psoriatic arthritis, or some other inflammatory joint disease didn’t really matter. As long as it wasn’t gout, which has a specific treatment, you don’t do much for any of the others but wait and see what happens. What happened was my sore toe got better over the next month. Some time later, I developed severe pain in my other foot, and I went to see my rheumatologist (I guess he’s my rheumatologist now) again. When confronted with a life-changing diagnosis, it’s often a good idea to get a second opinion, which is what I told him. “Typical gout.” he announced. Most people consult another physician for a second opinion, but I saved a lot of time by getting a second opinion from the same guy. He proposed to treat me for gout without doing the definitive diagnostic procedure because the appearance was so classical, no other possibility could be entertained. I don’t trust doctors.
June 17 Meg Whitman whipped Steve Poizner for the Republican gubernatorial nomination with 1.1 million votes to his 462 thousand. She reportedly spent $71 million of her own money (and another $10 million of other people’s) to buy the right to spend more to beat Jerry Brown in the fall. Poizner, on the other hand, spent a paltry $25 million of his fortune. Meg outspent Poizner three times over, but got barely more than twice as many votes; I think she overpaid. She paid her “political consultant” $90,000 a month. It will be interesting to see what happens between now and November. $150 million is the current estimate of what she will pay for what she must consider the second-best job money can buy. I hope she’s saving enough for a run at the presidency. I’m not sure why she wants the job--she didn’t even vote for the last 28 years. She says she wants to help California stop spending so much. Say, that gives me an idea.... If Washington, Adams, and Jefferson had had any idea that public office would be available for purchase--or that it would cost that much--they would have choked on their wigs and joined the redcoats. On the other hand, Pacific Gas & Electric spent $45 million to get a bill passed that would have prevented the state from competing in energy sales, and it lost anyway. Mainly because of the opposition from PG&E’s own customers, who turned out to be smarter than they thought. Maybe they should have borrowed a few bucks from Meg. I’m sure she’d have been happy to help them out for a few stock options.
June 13 More signs of the Times; Jay Leno ain’t got nothin’ on me.
“Lawyer’s shooting death ruled a homicide.” As opposed to a public service? A headline in the Health Section with so many intriguing possible interpretations you don’t want to spoil it by reading the article: “Penis spray shows results.” Do you suppose it will be covered in the new Health Care Bill? Not exactly a headline, but a local car dealership was offering “overage bonus cash.” I was hoping it was a deal for seniors, but alas it just meant they lowered the price on cars that had been on the lot over 30 days. And speaking of ads, bad news for some of my relatives: I just found out you can “upgrade your family for less than you think” with Verizon. In the headlines, “Duh” Division. This was about Governor Schwarzenegger’s latest plan to restore Califorlornia to greatness, but it could have been anything: “Legislature might resist plan.” “Duh” Division runner-up, in a subhead for an article on the many candidates for Attorney General (but again, it could be about any political race): “Money is a key.” “Pilot’s actions called uncharacteristic.” Since they were referring to his crashing his plane into the IRS building, one certainly hopes so. News headline: "Man found insane in stalking Shawn Johnson." No offense, Shawn. And finally, here’s a line I never thought I’d see in print: “Italian team works in unison….”
June 7: What's In A Name?, part two. Jeanine won't let me tell her any more, so you get stuck having to read a new batch:
Greeting card writer: Amery Chris Mastouya Golddigger: Mary Fordeaux AARP lawyer: H. S. Knoddafacter Archery instructor: Bowen Darrow Slumlord: Lawrence Widratz Youth group leader: Arnold Foulkes Farmhouse painter: Barney Zallred Orator: Lenny Arrears Pack animal driver: Lemuel Hollett Fashion designer: Toni Close Planned Parenthood advocate: Frieda Majoyce Produce buyer: Howard O. Slemons Luddite: Addison Anabicus Chronically tardy: Amadeus O’Laite Ear, nose, and throat doctor: Eustace Sheehan Censor: Don Dudat
There will be more, but not for a while. Promise.
June 3, I think. The not-right Reverend Ted Haggard (who you will recall was ousted from his post as pastor of the New Life Church when it came out that he had paid a male prostitute for sex and speed) was on the network news in a story about his starting up a new church at his home. He looked…well, haggard. Which got me thinking about singularly appropriate names. I actually know an alcoholic name Hurley, for instance. I don’t actually know the rest of these people, but... What A Great Name For A:
Research director: Wanda Howe Investment banker: Richard Engott Nascar champion: Winston X. Trace Heating repair person: Gillian D. Zeller. Skip chaser: Hunter Downe Poker player: Reid Eminweap Competitive eater: Philip Yerplate Paranoiac: Alastair Nattmie Wal-Mart greeter: Heidi Hodare.
Maybe more another day. Apologies to the masters, Tom & Ray.
The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect--well, yes, come to think of it, I guess they do.
all materials on this site ©michael grossman. all rights reserved. |
||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|